Unnatural Bread

I purchased a loaf of bread at the end of August after moving to school. At the grocery store, I took far longer than I should have in choosing which bread would be the healthiest, in regard to whole grains, low-fructose corn syrup, etc. I came home with "Baker's Inn," which seemed healthy and only cost $2.50 + tax.

Good deal.

However, I have recently begun to question its legitimacy as a food product. It should have expired the first week of September, but it's still going strong. Week-old loaves turn green faster than my seasick aunt on a dinghy, but not this stuff. It looks fine- it tastes fine, and that's creeping me out.

How many preservatives must the inn-ful of bakers have shoved into that bread before they let it loose on the market? An incredibly and unnaturally high amount, I have determined.

But I say this only because the its "sell-by" date was a month ago, and it has shown no signs of aging. Perhaps my bread has been botoxed. It should probably move to L.A.