Babysitting

So, I've gone babysitting a few times in the past week. Don't get me wrong- the absolute last thing I want right now is children. It's one of my biggest fears, next to being stabbed or developing a chocolate allergy. But babysitting is good because it's like renting a kid to hang out with. And the child in me gets a new adorable best friend for a few hours. Plus I'm being paid, so its a win-win-win.

Which parents were kind enough to entrust me with their child, you may ask, when I'm not even able to do a pull-up or drive a stick shift? Answer: My former professors and favorite small book press operators Matthew and Robbi of Idiots'Books remembered that I would be in town for the summer and asked if I'd be interested in watching Alden.

Um, yes please!

So for a few nights, I went to the barn for 2-3 hours to watch Alden while her parents worked in the office next door. Some of my basic duties included:

- Distracting her when her parents left
- Stuffing fruit in her mouth when she cried for her parents
- Walking her to the park
- Watching her climb in and out of the stroller, just to prove that she could abandon me at any time
- Distracting her from the algae puddles
- Teaching her how to properly wear sunglasses and flip flops
- Preventing the giant house cats from eating her when she lovingly body slammed them
- Getting manhandled by the house cats who are otherwise starved for attention and desperately want a kind pat on the head
- Teaching Alden how to whistle
- Persuading her that food tastes better on a plate, not on a floor

So here I am, babysitter for hire. Will also dogsit. Cat accepted if they can keep their paws to themselves.