Pissed

I've always been fairly pleased with my medical history: no breaks, no major impaling, no infectious conditions. No silly little sprains or strains to speak of.

Until now.

Yesterday, I was waiting for my afternoon shift to begin, but having arrived at work early, I went into the trailer to hang out. There, I found my boss's puppy, who was very eager to see me--and my lunch. She was so happy to see us that she wouldn't leave us alone for the entirety of the meal. Finally I finished eating and was ready to play, and she was absolutely delighted. So she began to run.

The puppy dashed across the trailer, and I ran to the opposite side. Then she turned and quickly ran back to where I stood, like a matador bracing for contact with the bull. When she was just about to jump on me, I leaped into the air, far over her small body--

and landed in her plastic water dish.

Which split and slid and spilled across the floor.

And I spilled too.

My foot gracelessly tumbled under my leg and I landed upon my back in a puddle of water, a small puppy dancing around me, snapping at my nose.

I remained splayed on my back for several minutes, waiting for my disturbed foot to calm down a bit, then got up and went to work for the next 5 hours, hobbling the tiniest bit more as the night passed. Several coworkers commented on my wet shorts. By the time I left, I was visibly limping and was reduced to a spongebath by the time I got home, as standing fully on my right foot was not an option.

Maybe this is what I get for mocking religion, and I apologize if I offended any of the (certainly) hundreds of readers out there. But I'm lucky: this is just a stupid little sprain or strain or something; the angel only took my cow and not my wife. I'll be back at work tonight, same time, same place.